Blog: Nursing in the Raw
by ren

My Suicide Story

Coffee chit chat...and my suicide story

Date:   12/13/2017 10:04:25 AM   ( 6 y ) ... viewed 2024 times

I had some coffee, mostly decaf yesterday.

My first day I almost made it through the morning without regular coffee. I started having memories of how awful my last two semesters of nursing school was. It was probably the gods stirring up things I needed to get out of my way to spiritual progress.

Even so, I am doing well with one cup of coffee. Yesterday evening, I didn't even want coffee. I had decaf with the old ladies lol...

But here's my deeply personal link with America's favorite drug:

My last two semesters of school, I was truly an addict and also trying to self medicate for my dry sinuses. Sometimes the difference between killing myself and living was a good soy cappuccino from Starbucks LOL...and that's no lie.

I'm only telling these stories so you know life finds a way and no one will remember you after suicide unless it's a loved one. I also had made the decision that I would never kill myself over school. I'd say f*** nursing school before I ever do something dumb and regretful and permanent.

At the time, I was beginning my teutonic shamanism training and that made the difference between life and death. Odin and ancestors and Santa Muerte saved my life. I'd probably not be alive were it not for discovering the riches of ancestral wisdom and magickal thinking.

Imagine I'm a geropsych nurse now taking care of people who tried to commit suicide. Damn lol...more than once I thought about taking meds and ending it all. Now I realize if I had succeeded I would have hurt a lot of people, and come back in another lifetime to the same situation.

Started out talking about coffee and here I am lol..
I will have more to share as I courageously confront more issues. Today's beautiful tea experience will be something from the coffee shop. I will make a video and share.

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Comments (15 of 79):
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