New Day One, April 24, 2008 by lauray .....

Have a nice commitment to raw foods only, it is complicated but I hope OK, searching for ways to support the fast, starting today

Date:   4/24/2008 8:09:47 PM ( 14 y ago)

OK, I am now back at an intention to fast 10 days.
I count myself lucky to have come to this intention again.
I want to affirm my attempts to fast... my desire to fast is so complicated. It really has to do with a desire for empowerment. I think this is fine.
Anxieties right now: my loneliness.
Help for this: went to a CoDA codependents anonymous meeting today and shared about how I feel and my life and a bit about fasting
Not so great help for this: was beaten up by my therapist today, emotionally. He is trying to end the relationship, and I really feel deprived, shut out of society... I really feel out of things since I am not in school etc., and here is this man, representing the intellectual world/academic community/good life/people who are functional and have jobs and support themselves, telling me, no, I cannot come to his office.
oh help.
I realize my old therapist will take me back but she is so horribly emotionally violent, such a weirdo,
what am I to do?
where is my community in the world?

On fasting:
Also have anxieties that my body will start to refuse food and never eat again. I am scared.
I am REALLY TIRED of trying to fast and not succeeding.
I erally need emotional support
I am going to tell it like it is here: I really am down. I am lonely in life; I don't have school


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