Please contact bob larson as soon as possible. You did not know fully what you were opening yourself to. Plan the contact with Bob Larson, (get a loan to get there if you have to) and dont let anything get in the way of getting you to see him. Once you are free you will be able to live your life as you were surposed to and fulfill Gods purpose in your life. At the moment you are unable to continue with all the good you have been recognised for in the past.
I will pray for you.
Many years ago one young man came to my door looking for a room to rent. (I used to rent rooms to students) I could see an 'entity' sitting on his shoulders, weighing him down, the young man spoke sadly of how he found it hard to make friends and how people shyed away from him. He said that he was a good honest person who worked hard, but just couldnt get ahead.
I knew what was happening but the 'entity' hissed at me to say not a word else my home would be affected too. In my cowardliness and shock I said nothing and I have prayed for that young man ever since. Even if I had given him a bible and written an address of a church on a piece of paper, I know my family would have been attacked.
Also a man I ran into worked at a Funeral Home and said that at many funerals he saw entities come and get on the backs of grieving ppl.........I think they must have left the deceased and found a new host.....
Anyway, Please know this isnt YOU, that it is something that has no right to attach itself to you and you just need someone specially gifted with the Holy Spirit of God to send these entities to where they belong and 'set you free'. Hold a bible close and sing christmas carols if you can (easy words to remember) or hymns if you know any. Any distruptions - sing them louder and even more joyfully.
To quote a biblical text: Be not full of fear and tribulation - for I (Christ) have overcome the world.............
get to Bob Larson...............pick up the phone now...............