Alright, here it goes. I've been fighting a pinworm infestation for 30 years. Yeah, you read me right. And fact is I'm sick of it. I've wasted so many hours at the doctor, and so much money on colon cleansers and "guaranteed herb treatments" that I'm stuck in a really bad place. To keep it simple, I'm just plain sick of it and want to give up. But I can't. Those of us infected with pinworms cannot top fighting because pinworms are more annoying than rashes, cuts that wont heal, obesity, alcoholism, you name it. Why? Because the (cussword inserted here) females tickle the anus day and night and there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.

I've tried every single herbal treatment on the market, and aside from the obvious frauds, and there are many, only one worked. Unfortunately, reinfection was swift, and by then the product was lifted off the shelves and I never found it again. Sounds a lot like the free energy inventions that keep getting black shelved, doesn't it? Well the companies that black shelf free energy inventions also black shelf herbal cures that actually work.

I even tried Pyrantel Pamoate, which I must say does offer a few hours of relief. But what's a few hours of relief when there are 24 hours in the day, and I have to spend 10 of those hours at work? How much Pyrantel Pamoate did I try? First week, yeah a whole week that's seven days, I used four teaspoonfuls a day. Second week, twice that. Third week, FOUR TIMES that TWICE A DAY. I went through enough Pyrantel Pamoate to worm 20,000 pounds of livestock.

But there the females are, regular as clockwork. And boy do they come back with a vengeance. Now here's my issue:

I've clearly identified the pinworm infection. I've even got the female/male differentiation down pretty good (that's actually pretty easy to do). I've tried all the products on the market, at least the ones that get good reviews. I've tried the number one recommended OTC drug, even tried to overdose on it (don't worry I already knew death wasn't a possibility with an overdose of Pyrantel Pamoate, just bad diarrhea, which I wanted in hopes of flushing the evil pinworms). I've exhausted doctor visits, and quite clearly I think modern medicine is more about squeezing every penny out of the patient or their medical insurance companies rather than actually curing a patient of an ailment. Pinworms are actually quite hard to diagnose by a medical lab, even if you get one of the annoying little buggers and stick it in your doctor's ear.

All that being said, can anyone help me?

Here are the fine points of my problem:

* Identified male pinworms on stool and in enema waters (¼” threadlike worms)
* Identified female pinworms in enema waters (up to ¾” threadlike worms sometimes surrounded by mucus membranes or even with male pinworms still attached-no, not fluke worms, these suc***s are never longer than ¾” inch and are symmetrical in size and shape their entire length)
* Globs of clear or white mucus membranes spotted exiting the anus in lieu of fecal matter, sometimes with female pinworms inside the globs (enema waters will produce these globs all day long)
* Constant itching and tickling on the anus, especially after showers, while sleeping, shortly after a bowel movement

Anyone with medical or non-medical advice will not be ignored. Shoot me your stories and advice. I’ve read hundreds of books and written half a dozen; I can read all day long if needed. What I need now is help in getting rid of this problem, before I end up at the funny farm (I’m close, thanks to the female pinworms who drive me crazy all day long).