How fortunate that you are discovering all this while you are young and have immunity on your side!
Another point...read Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. When she was a young doctor she wanted to know more about death, so she sat with more than a thousand people, of all ages, who were dying, from many causes.
Again and again she saw beauty and success, leading her to the conclusion that death may be one of the most beautiful things that happens to us.
She said that she could count on one hand the folks who seemed to pass away with regret,..and that regret seemed to be self-imposed.
I met an elderly man who told me of his experience at age nine years. He was ill and glimpsed the other side. He told me that it was so beautiful, and there was singing. He was waiting all his life, to go back. Tears came to his eyes as he remembered.
So, when I was scared, and wondering if I'd awaken in the morning, I realized how silly I was, and I trust. My main objective is to finish what I want to, first.
Since, I have recognized many obstacles to my peacefulness...even bullies from the past. Hah! Those poor folks didn't realize what they had in me...and what more they could have had.
I have learned that I have power in the word, "No!', within my thoughts. I can put negative things out of my head; enfold myself in my arms; and go to sleep.
Or, if I can't, I get up and computer or something until I am too tired to fret any longer.
When I am so mad at the unfairness of many situations in this world that I can't stay asleep, I have learned to test myself before I fully awaken...How mad am I? How sleepy?
Heh, heh, heh.
I wish with all my heart I had learned these things BEFORE my seventies. At least, before my last breath. :)
Soon, you will smile at all that worries you now...so why not feel soothed in advance?
There isn't any such thing as time, anyway...do you know? We may know things in advance..such as the child who always knew he would be a singer...or a paleontologist. How? I haven't figured that one out yet.
Heaven is near.
We might as well enjoy it, now.
My best, little one.