If you were to move away from past time negative images you would be allowing things outside of yourself to control you. When "things" outside of you control you, you are not in control of yourself. You say you are going through a process. Time truly does heal - and patience is a big helper.
Flunking out of college is not the end of the world. It is your daughter's creation. She has to live with it in her own way and it may in fact open other doors that will bring her greater satisfaction. I in fact flunked out of the school of architecture - mainly because I'm not an artist and didn't know that art was one of the major requirements. I then entered into economics and ended up with an MA and an excellent career in the field of Information Systems - something that I was good at and enjoyed as well.
Am learning just a tiny bit about the Law of Attraction and in fact am reading Care and Feeding of Dragons, Confession of a Diabetic - Beyond Law of Attraction to Align Within by Koan who has had a long career as a Jungian psychotherapist. An automobile accident gave her Type I diabetes and she eventually used the diabetes not as a curse but as a positive teacher. Everything that happens to us is for a purpose and a learning experience. We are each an eternal spirit. We are not our mind. Everything that happens is our spiritual creation - for a specific purpose to learn and to grow.
We have all of the answers to everything that we face in life - inside of ourselves. Sometimes we don't like the answers, but they are there. By reaching out and looking to others for answers we only have someone to blame if their solution doesn't work out the way that we think it should. We really truly do have all of our answers within ourselves.
One way to access our own information is to live in the present moment. You can't change the past nor even create anything in the future. One has to let go of the past and be in the moment. The present moment is the only thing that is real. The triggers that you run into that bring up "bad" memories can be changed to just bring up memories without judgment. There is loads and loads of information on the present moment, sometimes simply called "Now."
Your daughter is also learning something in her young life. What that is, is for her to find out. I've raised two children and a grandchild and I know how difficult it is to let them go, but the more you do the more you can focus on yourself and your purpose for being here. Yes, I lost an adult child to drugs so I know the difficulties in doing that but it can be done.
Have practiced meditation for many years and continue to use it daily as I learn and change but I'm still far from perfect and in fact never will be.
Oh I'm sure there's much more to the story - there always is. Yet at the same time there is also your daughter's story, from her perspective.
I was a lousy father but in my long healing journey, not without many bumps in the road, I've developed a love for children I never knew existed within me. As I've told my ex at family gatherings if I had it to do over again I'd have a minimum of five.
I was sexually abused by both genders as a child, suicidal as a teen and went through difficulties as a young adult. I think that it is the teens and young adults that I can relate to the best because all that I ever wanted during those years was an adult who could related to me and all my imperfections as a human being. It never happened.
Not just our Western society but many structured societies are just plain sick in the area of this thing that we call families. The Australian Bushmen children when the Europeans arrived were able to fend for themselves, food, water, fire and shelter, by age three to five. The Europeans also said that the children were the happiest that they had ever seen. We (myself included) sell them so short yet we expect them to kill for "our country" by the time they are eighteen.
We are changing and you will see a lot more of it in the not too distant future.
Whatever you do, you have no reason to ever trash yourself. Yet as a parent I know it's difficult not to. That too is a learning experience.
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was
the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I
grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t
understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand
— John Lennon
Hugs, Blue Rose!
I personally don't feel that relocating is a bad idea or an avoidance of living and healing. Sometimes, our experiences create such a deep scar that certain triggers slice open the healing and pour salt on the open wound, so to speak.
In my case, leaving places behind that have been the source of intense emotional trauma has been cathartic on many levels. One of the greatest things that my counseling therapist has told me, over and over, is that "feelings are not facts." How I feel about something is valid, but those feelings aren't always based upon facts. In your situation, your feelings are based upon the choices that your daughter made and the trauma that her choices inflicted upon you, as well as herself. When you see places where you know that things happened, of course it's going to trigger many, many emotions.
Relocating, in some people's views, may be an attempt to run from a situation. Other people may view relocation as an opportunity to start over. It depends entirely upon what the motivations are. For me, relocating from a remote, isolated dwelling into a shared communal situation got me OUT of the four walls where my ex's double-life and myriad betrayals took place and INTO an environment of community, safety, and encouragement.
I would suggest that you consider your motivations, Blue Rose. The one and only thing over which we have control is our Self. If the burden of your daughter's choices and actions is too much to bear, then relocating and leaving behind the triggers may be an option.
Brightest healing blessings to you, Blue Rose - you've been SUCH a source of encouragement and support to me in these past few months. Now, I offer virtual hugs and sincere love to you in this difficult time of reckoning.
Big hugs to you, Blue Rose. Keep journaling whenever you feel that grief rolling in. Write it down and spare no words of any type. Use profanities and express it all, especially anger that you may towards your daughter. That anger (don't I know it?) can fester and become an absolute obsession - don't they KNOW what they've done? Don't they CARE?
Is your daughter living with you, now? Gosh, but I really feel for you, Blue Rose.
Brightest blessings to you, my dear.
Raynbo, I really identify with your response - haven't "seen you around," either, and also hope all is well with you!
Blue Rose, I check CZ often, and I send healing energies out there for you. Whatever change you make to help you through the grieving and recovery process will be a positive effort. Even if it's a simple matter of "placing your own mark" on your current home. In this current market, unloading a property is a monumental task and, typically, comes at a huge loss of equity. And, this is probably the first time in modern history where this is true, with the exception of the "Great Depression."
So, speak to a realtor - don't sign anything, just have one that's recommended drop by and talk about your options and so forth. I've got a lovely property that's going to be about 70K for sale where someone could do a small homestead and so forth! LMAO!!!!!
HUGS and hugs to you, Blue Rose.