Do it again !
Yes, try the suicide again.
Do it by restricting foods and drinks.
Yes, start water fasting. No food, no drinks except water.
Simply, one day, decide it is the right day, and stop eating.
You can prepare for that day by not purchasing any food.
Once your refrigerator is empty, you stop eating.
It is not going to be very easy .... the first 4 days are usually a struggle with hunger feelings ... but at least you will be on your slow way to death ...
Se what happens with your lips after the first 10 days of this slow death ...