OK thanks, Shelley... now that makes more questions!
What is MAP?
What is ERT?
Yes I had some crying jags about ten years ago. I had some wild "realizations" at 2AM also! Realizing that the guilt was not "me" or even "a part of me" but actually someone else's garbage that I internalized... stuff like that. It always seemed like it was "me" before that time. I had recurring dreams of being in a courtroom, "accused" for hours like I was the worst person on earth or something. Over and over again the same dream(s) night after night for like four months. "Dark nights" and "Light nights" I guess. Sometimes I felt like I had x-ray vision or something (emotionally)... I could walk into a room of people and I could just look at people, and tell them their life history (in a general way), what their problems were and what they needed to work on, if they had the courage to do it. It was really weird, and made some people "mad" (jealous I think) and attracted many others... but I was so uncomfortable with it and people bugging me that I turned it off. They just don't "get it", and you cannot explain it to them, they don't want to hear it. They don't understand how much energy it takes. It was like a blessing and a curse all at once. It's interesting but sometimes I felt like I was losing my mind, too. I have kept it "turned off" ever since... Things just get too weird when I "open up." It requires "people you can trust" or something and I just don't have that. When I trust, I get hurt. So I just don't trust people much anymore, that's been my policy lately, and it saves me a lot of grief. Assume the worst, hope for the best, and don't expect anything until you see it for yourself. It seems to save me a lot of trouble. So I just "close up" into my little clam-shell, cozy and warm. And drink coffee, hehe. :) oh well
After 11 liver flushes, I cannot say I feel permanently "better" yet. I feel great for a day or two afterwards, then I get weird little "feelings" for the next few days, little stomach pains and such... and I seem to be sleeping a lot. I figure it's just healing going on...
I have a line down the middle of my tongue... that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had that... you see it in all the cartoons!