Let me give you one example. Im a school teacher and have to handle 15 kids from tree different levels in Preschool. Finishing this class I have to teach in secondary but I´m late sometimes for that reason. I hink it is abuse to make a teacher work with 15 kids of three different levels.
The school principal once knocked at my door to let me know I was late.
I got mad and thought of going to tell him "Don´t you ever again dare to knock at my classrooom door because you don´t know what I am doing." As I thought that was very agressive I swallowed my anger and said nothing.
I would have liked to be assertive and tell him " Please don´t be like that don´t knock me at my door because I´m doing my best and I´m hadling a very complex situation" That is What I would have liked to do but as I was so mad I couldn´t.

Actually im seeing a mental health Dr.
But what I would like is to be more effective in my relationships.

you dont need therapy. these people do. im serious on this. what you need to do is stop looking for approval from other people and everytime someone upsets you intestionally of not, just let it go and dont get upset. cause what you get upset they feel they have won and they feed off your anger. cut them off and remain distant and feel the hurt they caused but dont get angree. when you get angree you loose your "cool" your center. and anything you say will always come out bad and will come to haunt you and will always be thrown at you. that is the reason you remain silent because in the past you have gotton upset and said things to that person and you were always the one to look quilty like your wrong for yelling at them. these people are professionals, they know how to pley the game quite well.

an example. rick tells bill that hes a queer and laughs. bill gets really angree and tells rick to shut up with a angree look. rick looks at bill like "whats wrong with this kid", while bill feels like he did something wrong and gets depressed. bill never talks back anymore because he knows he will probably be made to feel like the quilty one for trying to hurt rick.

thats just when your dealing with people that want to hurt you emotionally.


so resist getting up set and you can say what ever you wont because it wont be out of anger and you cant be made out to be the bad guy. like i said you just need to work on not getting upset and remaining a little distant from people and not look for the approval. these other people are the ones who need therapy. and if these people seem happier than you, its just "seems" like they are. they dont know how to not get so upset because they are always looking for the approval and are emotional people so their life is like a roller coaster ride up and down up and down. once you leane how to controls your thoughts and feeling its smooth sailing, always. forgive them farther for they know not what they do. if your a bible man. if not its still the same. i was just like you, now i always speak my mind. people get mad at me because they cant upset me. they want the attention they want you to love and surender to them. sorry for all the grammer mistakes. keep practicing, it gets easier and easier with more practice. so these people are doing a favor for you by giving you lots of practice. take advantage of it.

Thanks for ur response.
I could see my Mom and Dad could get angry. So I don´t think that is a learned behavior. And it not always happends to me just sometimes. As I said I remain silent because I´m afraid what could I do or say with my anger.
I realize that this happends to me with unfair situations.
Unjustice to me makes me mad. But I must learn there are a lot of unfair situstions in this life. It is just that people sometimes comes with so stupid demands upon one. That you can´t hardly beleive what they are saying. None sees others needs or problems or what you have done or given they just ask for more. It´s just a part of humna nature which makes me mad.