I drop one, and two want to fill tha... 
#64318
16 years ago
1,118
Well I am new to this, so excuse me if I sound weird with this hehe.
I guess to start off, I just got out of a very abusive relationship with my ex. We at one point were engaged to be married, but that never happened. She has cheated on me in the past, and even a few months ago got a little touchy feely with someone while she was away. So I got mad, and told her that I wanted nothing to do with her anymore. I did feel empty due to the fact that we had been together for a while.
Well I am a user of myspace. I enjoy meeting new people on there, and have found a lot of new veried friends on there. Well I have started to really get to know this one girl on there, and she really peaked my interest. Her interests are the same as mine and we enjoy the same things. She really started coming on stronger when she knew I had split with my ex (this was a couple of months ago). I love the idea that she would like to hang out, and get to know each other a little better.
But now there is a slight problem. Another girl that I am friends with on myspace, has also shown an interest in me. I love chatting with her, and all, but once again, once she found out I had split with my ex, she came on a little stronger.
I have stopped to think about if I had hooked up with either one of them if it would be a rebound or something more serious. I am not really greaving over my ex, in a matter of fact, I am pretty happy to have her gone because she was pretty much a leech, both mentally and financially. She never had anything positive to say, and was just always a downer. The two girls that are interested in me, I am interested in. Both have a lot in common with me, and are both very beautiful. But to be quite honest, I don't really know what to do about it. I am the type of guy who wants to be in a relationship for the long run. I want to be able to get married and the whole bit! I am 25, so yeah it's on my mind a lot. I want to get to know them both better, maybe to see which one is the better person for me, but I don't want it to look like I am a player or anything. I'm just not that way. Does anyone have some suggestions? I could use any help I can get.
More
- Well.... molly bloom
16 years ago
1,082
MoreThis is a reply to # 670,192Baby, can we meet?....just kidding. I'm way too old for you anyway, except, have you seen The Graduate?....no, never mind, just kidding again....
Ask them for a date. Tell them you are in a rebound period, and you need for the meetings to be very very casual. Make the date for breakfast or lunch, so there's none of that your place or mine to worry about. Who knows, if you fall in love at breakfast, you have the whole day to kick around. Maybe go to the zoo? You can really get to know a person when you spend a whole day with them, as opposed to a night date over dinner, when everyone has their interview face on. Walking and talking brings out so very much conversation. That's how I fell in love with my husband. Our beginning relationship was walking for miles and miles through San Francisco. Walking, talking, eating and sex consumed us for almost 6 months. I was in great shape AND in love.
Advertisement
Free Remineralizer for your Teeth
Best Teeth Remineralization, Strengthening, and Cleaning
More
- Re: Well.... turkey60
16 years ago
1,109
This is a reply to # 670,193Yep go for a date, my preference would be avoid the zoo (too many moral issues to trip up upon), You may think that you get to know a person in a day, but you only begin to understand anyone else when you know yourself.
Further down the road one of the best tests to getting to know someone else and yourself is see how you/partner handle a period of adversity.- Re: Well.... molly bloom
16 years ago
1,064
This is a reply to # 670,207Ah, not really know them in a day, but in one day of talking, people say things...things that might make you think....ick. There are so many things you could talk about...politics, religion, families, so much. I think enough to either make you want (or not want) to come back for more.
Oh yea, the adversity thing. That's heavy.
My friends and I always had a rule of thumb. If a couple can make if for 9 months (long enough to let you hair down, and most like periods of some adversity), and you still want to be with each other, then you have a shot. It's not clear sailing, but it a good beginning foundation.
Knowing yourself is the ultimate feat.- Re: Well.... turkey60
16 years ago
1,066
This is a reply to # 670,208Advertisement
Free Remineralizer for your Teeth
Best Teeth Remineralization, Strengthening, and Cleaning
Knowing yourself is the the key and ultimate feat
For me it is the primary requirement.
If you are honest and aware with yourself, then you will attract honest and aware people around you.
We are often fooled into a loving situation by the glamour and glitz distraction, fear of being alone and need, when really the underlying attraction is power based. What I m saying is that most retionships are control based, a habit which has been learnt as a child and badged up as love.
When you are honest and aware relationships spark at an exhilarating level.
As we all know life can be a journey of disovery if you want it to be and the adverse aspects which can be as minor or major as you want them to be, gives the opportunity (if you so wish) to find clues as to what you both percieve is going on in your lives. Current experience is not a requirement simply knowing how you or your partner have coped in the past with adversity is equally revealing.
Good talking
- Re: Well.... turkey60
16 years ago
1,066
- Re: Question for Turkey Alikat
16 years ago
1,073
This is a reply to # 670,207I'm so curious on this one, I just need to be bold and ask.
>>"my preference would be avoid the zoo (too many moral issues to trip up upon),"<<
Now, please tell me how a trip to the zoo confronts people on moral issues. :o( ???
You mean, like the monkeys misbehavin'?
- Re: Question for Turkey turkey60
16 years ago
1,129
This is a reply to # 670,210Why are the animals kept in zoos? To prectect them from humans, as a reminder of how man has plundered their natural habitat? To entertain us? Surely it would be better for a caged creature to be free?
Personally I hate the concept of trapping anything and keeping it behind bars, it is a form of needless control. If it is done for the animal s protection then man s relationship with nature is in question and a a reminder of our bad behaviour, either way it reflects badly upon our society. (Although a controlling relationship would have the same effect)
Perhaps animals are honest they hide very little and keeping them behind bars is a form of control/punishment? Whereas humans are trained to hide their honesty and emotions.
When a man was suspended in a perspex box in London, without food, he attracted alot of derision, my thought about as to why this was the case was based on the premise that those outside the box who chose to hurt themselves through addicitve behaviour did so privately, whereas when he chose to hurt himself he did it in public. Perhaps those outside the box felt uncomfortable. A bit like I feel if I were to visit a zoo.Advertisement
Free Remineralizer for your Teeth
Best Teeth Remineralization, Strengthening, and Cleaning
- Re: Question for Turkey turkey60
16 years ago
1,002
This is a reply to # 670,210PS Are the caged animals happy? With their freedom denied most probably not and being around anything and anyone who gives off very negative energy is just awful. My preference is to go for walk through a rain forest, listening to the creatures and observing the wildlife.
- Okay Alikat
16 years ago
1,054
This is a reply to # 670,214Thanks for your answer, I understand where you were coming from now. Although I doubt if most people on a first date would be challenged to think that deeply about their surroundings, as opposed to pondering what's on the other person's mind regarding them. tee hee As for identifying with the repression of caged animals, no, I was never taught to hide my feelings and emotions nor to feel corraled, on the contrary, but different cultures I guess.
I would also love to be able to walk through a rain forest listening to the animals and admiring the foliage. Too bad I live in a concrete jungle :-(
I'm sure being this tuned to the plight of caged animals, you must be involved in actively defending animal rights. If not, theen they're missing a great spokesperson. Many blessings to you.
- Okay Alikat
16 years ago
1,054
- Re: Question for Turkey turkey60
16 years ago
1,129
- Re: Well.... molly bloom
16 years ago
1,064
- Re: Well.... turkey60
16 years ago
1,109
- Re: I drop one, and two want to fill... herb-gal
16 years ago
1,090
This is a reply to # 670,192Advertisement
Free Remineralizer for your Teeth
Best Teeth Remineralization, Strengthening, and Cleaning
I think myspace is the #1 ruiner of relationships and you shouldn't base your decision on who to date by online chatting.
I've had online relationships before so I'm not just one of those skeptical haters. I've also been very hurt by things said through myspace by other girls to my man and it's just so upsetting and...I don't know.
I think you need to hang out with both of them in person.- Re: I drop one, and two want to fill... herb-gal
16 years ago
1,146
This is a reply to # 670,225I'm sorry if my response came off as random or rude. I just had to make my point clear that myspace can be very evil haha :)
I've had my fair share of conflict in my relationship because of it.
Actually I plan for a PhD in psychology and I recognize my defense in blaming the internet as opposed to my man's lack of self-control and equality in our relationship. It just makes me feel better. Girls on there can be quite the sluts. Ever notice the 14 year olds that look 18...who would probably be grounded for life if their mommies saw their profiles?
- Re: I drop one, and two want to fill... herb-gal
16 years ago
1,146
- Well.... molly bloom
16 years ago
1,082
Share:
Translate This Page: