I have suffered in silence for monthes cus I didn't realise that others were experiencing some of the more off the wall symptoms so I thought poss it was a different complaint, or that I was in fact crazy...Even though I really didn't believe that, although I wanted to desperately... As a drug abuser I have more than enough cause to suspect delusion, but as a notibly self aware and self observant analytic persona;ity, my common sense sees the behaviour of my delusional contemporaries, who are completely inconsistent in their so called ailments, and who will point at an empty spot and claim whatever and this is nothing likde me. I have spent 6 mo nthes trying to prove validity to myself for each new symptom because of my awareness of the situation. In fact, if someone immediately takes my word for it and they are not doing it to placate me, I do not feel they are an appropriate confidante. I know I would not believe all this without rational and consistent proof.
My problem is I think that those around me know deep down that I am right and the implications of the truth scare them so much that they are forced to deny it and make me carry it. What makes me mad is that I also have to carry the ridicule. Although in turn, I think if they really didn't believe me, they would be more sympathetic and supportive. Unfortunately my current low self esteem means I inappropriately focus on this rather than a solution. It makes me obsessive, which in turn causes me to give an impression of one who is delusional Additionally, whilst in this state just described, I believe my focus feeds the condition and gives it strength to grow and assume control. I feel shame as I know that I am contributing. And then I get scared of what will happen next. Having read the messages here though I feel much better and less alone.
I have a double socially inacceptable condition (this was obviously my challenge the goddess gave me for this lifetime) as I am a drug abuser, and I use intravenously. I have recently understood that my IV use is a form of self-harm, like those that cut themselves. I feel very strongly that this is a lesson of self acceptance,confidence and love.(etc)I come across as an extremely confident, strong independent black woman. Little do they know... Bits of glass are coming out of my arm How can this be? I do not get it?
I suspect that they copy things in their environment. Like Dr Hilde says they join up with your hair follicle, copy it and then kick it out. I think they do thios with other stuff. Like last xmas we had pine needles in parts of the house we could not haven and the quantity was ridiculus and continued for mobnthes and monthes! Prior to that it was beanbag beans. Mind you, moth eggs do look like that and we have a motgh infestation which is insane. Maybe they crossed breeds? There are 2" lengthes of pale yellow 2ply yarn everywhere. And these tiny black specks turn into them when moved or swept. There are also little white feathers around. And flying dust. And hair that looks like dog hair that appears from nowhere. I was brushing my hands and a 6" piece of 'hair' came out of nowhere! ometimes if I brush my hands over the sink it is full of like 1cm legthes of white and brown and two tone 'hair'.
When I have a bath it is full of this styuff that when tyou move it turns into 'hair'.
The newest thing to multiply and appear since the 2 ply yarn is what looks like white tissue. And hard white stuff on the foor. I was sweating once and my book got covered in white tissue which it turneds into when it hiot the book. I have spots on my cheeks that used to be freckles that exude white stuff and my hair grtavitates towards them and gets cocooned with white tissue foer a few inces, this seems to coincide with sweat. Water seems to affect them .Cold water. My face is so itchy right now and I am scratching it and my laptop is covered in little hairs and littl mites(poss).
I also get scratches that are not resally scratches and sometimes they cxan be pulled out and they ARE like hair...People think all my marks are trackmarks and they don't believe that I have never injected in my legs. Injecting obviously makes it worse. At one point every hit I did, within inches
of it two whitye ''hairs' and one black would emnerge. There is a definite pattern to its growth on my body. I have not heard of that in anyone else.
Anyone share any of this?
thanks for listening...