Thank you so much for your message. I don't know you well, but judging by how clearly you've expressed yourself, you are an intelligent person.
I do not take offence at the possibility that I might, according to psychiatric DSM manual, be classified as Schizophrenic. I wonder how many people who've had a similar affliction to mine have been labeled in this way. Interestingly enough, many highly accomplished and creative people throughout history have been Schizophrenic. John Nash, portrayed in a film ‘Beautiful Mind’ is one example.
I have respect for modern medicine, and despite many shortcomings, many lives have been saved by psychiatric specialists and medicine. As I'm sure you know well, there are no objective (i.e. blood) diagnostic tests, the call is subjective, based on the symptoms. There may be many causes to hearing, seeing, or thinking things that are outside of accepted reality, including biochemical. Nevertheless, I believe medication can bring a relief even in cases where a spirit possession or some form of mind-control is involved, perhaps by closing some channels, perhaps the same channels that got opened with use of psychedelics and deep meditation.
However, I hope to not only close the channels, but actually be free of entities. The flat emotional state is clearly conditioned. These entities punish emotionality, especially positive. That will probably improve with the closed channels. I believe, they are not only bothersome in an auditory sense, but also feeding on my life-force. My energy level is nowhere close to where it should be for someone my age and lifestyle habits. I've noticed them trying to manipulate my behaviors by cutting down a supply in certain circumstances; I've often experienced a very sadden onset of fatigue. Also, even if they are not consciously heard, they might be able to influence personality through inserted thoughts, which maybe mistaken for one's own. Here's a metaphor for my situation as I see it: troubling neighbors can make a person sick. Putting ear plugs is a solution, but not the ideal one.
I agree with you that Shamanic healing might be able to help. I've seen a few Shamans over the past couple of month, not much success, but it doesn't mean there isn't someone who can help. I've heard good things about Alberto Villoldo, and in fact am planning on going to his lecture in late November. I've even contemplated doing his Four Winds training. The Shamans of South America are well reputed for dealing with spirits. I've read about similar cases to mine being described as 'Shamanic Illness', to which apparently healers are prone to. I am planning on going to Peru to spend a couple of weeks with tribal Shamans in the Amazon very soon. I've read some very encouraging reports from people who've gone through this program and I am very hopeful about this experience.
Thank you again. I wish for you a quick and complete recovery.