The compliment, as I understand it, is to favorably catch the person's attention, and to avoid them slamming the 'door' (their ears) against ANYTHING you say...as does a 'you' statement.
'You' statements go something like this...
..."You are -----"
..."You always ------"
..."You never -----"
The book also said to 'take ownership of your own feelings' when negotiating with another. (All interactions are 'negotiations', they said.)
Begin by stating how you feel...
..."I feel badly because I just spent an hour cleaning the bathroom so nice and now there are towels on the floor and water." The lady then began to cry real tears.
Quietly, her teenage son then went and picked up his mess. I would hope that she gave him a wordless hug, strengthening the bond between them. (Kids hate lectures and 'you' statements against them, don't they? I can remember them drumming on my ears.)
..."I wish -----"
..."I had hoped -----"
..."I love -----"
If I remember the book correctly.
The things you want to say will likely come to you at the right moment.