What a GREAT idea! LMAOLMAOLMAO!!!! Here's my true story which, today, is almost hilarious. I can't believe I'm going to post this, but here it goes:
I had been dating this gorgeous Italian guy - very passionate, loads of fun, but possessive and extremely jealous. After about 18 months, I decided that I couldn't remain with this guy as his jealousies had overwhelmed him and he began showing up during my college classes!
I began dating this other fellow - very casually without any notions of long-term committments.
Well, I had a bunch of friends and this guy I was dating over to my folks' house, one night, to celebrate one of my friend's birthday. Complete with cake, copious amounts of booze, as much dope as a body could smoke, and a crackling fire outside lighting up the crisp autumn night, we were all sitting around, singing and laughing, having a grand time, and from nowhere my former boyfriend shows up with this delinquent friend of his. They just appeared out of the gloom and the tension was suddenly thick enough to cut with a knife!
Without warning, my former boyfriend jumped up and leapt over the fire, grabbed the guy I was dating, and commenced to fistfight with him. My former boyfriend towered over everyone (he was 6'4" and 215lb) and was swinging wildly while his ratty friend held my date down so that he could be beaten.
This escalated to the point where I grabbed the galloot by the shirt to pull him off of my date and he thought (in HIS drunken stupor!) that I was some man trying to break up the fight, swung around and clocked me square in the nose. I heard an exquisite "CRUNCH" and my nose was broken. Meanwhile, the gal whose birthday it was kept screaming, "This is just GREAT! What a way to celebrate my f*cking BIRTHday!" over, and over! While I was attempting to stem the flow of blood out of my nose-holes and this gal was screaming about her birthday, several people managed to kick the living shit out of ratty guy holding my date down and subdue my former boyfriend in this great, writhing pig-pile - it looked like the last play in an Army-Navy football game, I swear.
Needless to say, this whole thing ended with cops coming and the ex's parents calling to apologize for their son's behavior, etc.
Afterwards, the party sort of broke up and I was in the powder room, nose bleeding, and wretching all of the booze and cake I had consumed into the toilette while my date was trying to tell me that he loved me "...in (his) own way..." We stopped dating shortly, thereafter, and the former boyfriend faded back into the distance.