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Re: In love........but can't feel it
 
Molly Bloom Views: 1,406
Published: 15 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 1,049,689

Re: In love........but can't feel it


Oh honey, you are so young. I'm 51 but not senile. I remember back, and 18 can be a confusing age.

It sounds like you might be looking for Dad in so many ways. We women do that, and I have done that through the years. My first husband was a nightmare and I'm lucky to have gotten out alive.

This sounds really cheesy, but you do have your whole life ahead of you.

My biggest suggestion to you is to educate yourself. Whatever it is you are interested in, whether in college, trade school....whatever. Elevate yourself above even what you think you can attain. You will surprise yourself. Once you are on a track, the men will become background sound. There will be many men in your future, really good men. Men with good jobs, great senses of humor, gentle, caring, smart. I won't say that even if a man was in jail they can't be a good person, but they are an unstable person.

I told my son not to move in with a girl and not get married before 30. I don't know if he will follow this advice, but looking back things do start to fall into place around 27-30.

Picture how you want your life to look. Is it living in the city in a fun lifestyle? Is it living in the suburbs with kids? Is it traveling the world?

At 18, you can easily set up that foundation to have it. It takes some work, and it takes some patience. But the struggle becomes less and less as you go on.

Men will come and men will go all through your life. If you are lucky, you meet the one person that you know will be your best friend for life. It's not even about the sex, its about the friendship. And when you find your best friend, and the passion is there also, then you have it all.

What do you expect from your best girlfriend? Loyalty? Compassion? Sense of humor? You friend supports you and makes you feel good about yourself? My dear, this is the man you should seek.

I'm sorry to get into this "mother" thing, but I read about an 18 year old girl, and every cell in my body want to reach out and say....I've been there, as all of us mature women, and the best thing we can do is give you our life experience and whatever wisdom we have picked up along the way. Don't discount any mature women in your life, and when they tell you something about life, they are telling you the truth.

Find out who you are. Find out what you want. I don't know if you have gotten any talk therapy regarding the abuse you experienced, but I would seek out a service in your area. There are plenty of free services if need be. Or if you are employed, often they are covered medically. You need to talk this through with someone.

Then you can open the door to a good relationship. Until then, you are just spinning your wheels and possibly opening yourself up to continue a cycle of abuse.

Take care.

Molly





 

 
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