Your suggestions are helpful, but it seems that everyone thinks my boyfriend is a horrible person. Which he really isn't. And telling me to set goals for myself is something I've already done. I'm going to school in January to become a Profiler. He sup ports me 100%. He makes me laugh and smile and has been there for me when I've broken down. The neighbordhood we live in isn't the greatest and I need to work on me. Our relationship isn't focused on sex. It was starting to seem like that so we stopped. In previous relationships sex was used as a way for the guys I was with to get what they want and lead me on. I had one ex who used it to get what he wanted and then tried to trick me out to his friends. Another who just used me for it and a whole list of rocky relationships. I'm scared of the relationship b/c he screwed up. But it seems like there's a whole lot of ppl on here who have dealt w/ the cheaters and everything like that if it's a husband and they're older ppl tell them to forgive. But if it's a boyfriend and their young like me, then it's time for them to go off on their on. It's a relationship full of turmoil. He screwed up yes, I can't defend that, and we've talked about that. But this relationship with him scares the hell out of me. He is seriously talking about marriage and yes yes I know we're young so I expect to hear alot of you guys are to young you don't know what you're doing responses. I think that's what scares me. That this has taken such a serious turn and my whole life I was told nobody would ever want to be with me and I was nothing by my dad. Now I'm scared because somebody does want to be with me and I love to push people away. So I feel like that's what I'm doing. He is my best friend, we talk and laugh and I'm thinking we can go to couples counsling for some other things. The reasons relationships don't work these days is b/c people won't work for them. You screw up and that's it, it's time to break up or get divorced. I don't want to look back at this relationship and wonder what if. I'm young but I'm not stupid. Like I've said in previous posts I've been through more than most people will go through in a lifetime. And I hate to sound negative. But you cant stay in love living in a box. It doesn't work like that, I know it's a metaphor. But not every place can feel like home when you're in love. It just doesn't work like that. And I didn't mean when we had sex in public or at someone elses house we were fine. I meant meant when we were out I felt together just doing whatever or visiting people I felt fine.