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what's so special about me?
rygar. Views: 2,688
Published: 15 years ago

what's so special about me?

At work there are plenty of good looking girls around my age (mid 20s) and I noticed them 'noticing me'.Though because of having a pretty low self esteem concerning my personality and identity somewhat,I have a hard time accepting 'why' someone would want to be with me or anything to do with me for any reason at all.

I can see other peoples strengths and personality quirks but I fail to see my own.
I feel as if these girls can do better or that I would just disappoint them because of being less then confident in my feelings concerning them.
Still mending a broken heart from so long ago..I kinda just shut those feelings off but since their return I have been feeling really insecure and unsure of those feelings.

I want to be with someone again but it's not like I can go from being a complete angry dirtbag all the time to all of a sudden become open to new relationships/friendships.
I would love nothing more then to be with a beautiful girl emotionally and lovingly but I just don't know how to deal with some emotions.

I have a hard enough time dealing with them but me lacking what they see in me in the first places puts an extra burden on me on how to react and treat them...
it really just makes me want to shut off once again.
Maybe I am just not ready to deal with these emotions..

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