all I am searching for is pleasure if for the sake of it being merely physical"
Then, no matter what, BE HONEST, AT ALL COSTS!...even if it loses you the ability to be with a specific woman.
You have some real issues to work through. That is apparent to you, as well as others that are attempting to help you.
Yet, if you are only concerned with your physical pleasure, then be sure to tell the woman, you are out for a good time and nothing beyond. Then, she can CHOOSE to participate or not. There are women who only want the same...a physical need met. When, I was in my 20's, that was mostly what I sought, not relationships. I also told the men that...lol they liked knowing that! It truly is all in the presentation. OH and yes, there are some women who will be attempting to 'change' that thought of you and that will be their own stuff, when they do not take you at your word. Just continue to be honest.