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Roooth Views: 3,967
Published: 13 years ago
This is a reply to # 1,081,951

hey numbers!

Sorry, couldn't help myself. *giggles*

No, I definitely don't think you're the only one who disagrees. In fact, as you can see from my post, I think it's important to question, and one should not question and only expect opinions they are looking for, but ironically enough, that tendency has been documented in research and it's something humans do.

But my honest opinion is that you are coming off nasty in some of these, even implicating my interest in psychology and my morality. I don't want to put you on the defensive. I'm not mad at all and my honest opinion is that is how you came off.

People do get very passionate about what they believe and when it's an important issue to them, it's easy to see a difference of opinion that has not been carefully worded as an attack - which is as you saw it. That's why couples fight so much. That's why I totally gave MtnnnDewww props for responding so nicely to my difference of opinion - and props to you as well for this one. You and herb-gal both did get ruffled by the exchange.

I could've taken some of the things you said worse and more personal as if they were at me although I saw that yes, you were reacting to other posters... the reason I didn't is this: I understand that to be able to take strongly worded criticism and resist that initial urge to take it personal, try to figure out what's happening on the other person's side, voice the concerns that you think need to be voiced without making it sound like you're judging or coming down on the other party whose opinions differ from yours... this is such a difficult skill to learn. I've gotten good at this brand diplomacy over the years (with MUCH work and practice!), but a message or email crafted this way to allow the opposite party to know that you're not aiming at THEM can be hard. It might not sound like it, but when you take it personal then it is really hard. So to me, it's unfortunate when the online folks get to bickering when truly, each person is reacting in the very same human way of trying to defend and be heard at the same time. Sadly then, "when everyone shouts, no one hears".

Anyway, this reply makes sense in my head but it was hard to word (in spite of all my hard work and practice, lol), so I hope it makes sense to you. But in short: if you're not meaning those nasty things at me, then we're cool. Actually, you know what? We're cool either way.

Take care ~


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