I often had a hard time sleeping with my boyfriend too. We have lived together since October, and it was a challenge sometimes even before we moved together and I would spend the night at his place. I was going to suggest earplugs, which help, but like you, most of the time earplugs dont work for me. My boyfriends snoring was still waking me up, and it was sickengly frustrating.
Its gotten a lot better lately. I make him wear those nose things and use the throat strips that help with snoring somewhat. And unlike you we dont have another comfortable place to sleep in our house so sleeping in seperate rooms isnt really an option.
I see snoring isnt really your problem as much though, and honestly, it seems to me that its your husbands way or the highway when it comes to the bedroom. Have you told him about how his habits are effecting your sleep? He should care about the things that are bothing you and be willing to make as many changes as possible to help you.
What happens when you ask him not to do these things? (the hitting the snooze, the shades, etc).