Wow looks like you guys have a lot to work out. The only advise I can give you right now is from this comment you made:
"So I basically feel most of my life is spent doing stuf for other people."
Start meditating. Seriously. If you really value yourself you will take at least 10 minutes (some people suggest more but sometimes thats all it takes for me) a day that is truly purely nothing but yours. I like to do right before I go to sleep.
Check this place out if you wanna get started on it. It has seriously helped me out immensely