There is a passage in the Christian Bible that says "Do not despair at your tribulations, for they are My glory for you."
If that is true, sometimes I have felt awfully glorified, my friend.
Regardless of your religion, you have to believe that you were put here for a reason - and it was not to endure undue pain or to be rushed into an early death. It is nice to be comforted with the promise of another better life waiting for you, but I think we have to cling to life and live it as long as we can. Otherwise, why be born at all?
Are you or your friends and relatives not able to find oleander in Jordan? I know that it grows there.
"In the mountains of the northern part of the country is a narrow valley, Wadi Rajib. Ein Sakhara is a large spring in the wadi that gushes out of the summer parched hillside and cascades down to form a stream. A series of smaller springs also enter the brook which is shaded by venerable plane trees (Platanus orientalis) and lined with dense thickets of oleander (Nerium oleander) tressed with fragrant flowersin July."
Is there a reason you cannot get the OPC or other supplements? Is it money? If it is, I will help you - just let me know.
I am wishing you find a long life of better health.