Staying pretty quiet as I am feeling a lot of the yuck that others are experiencing (on top of everything else)... and needing to stay as clear of it as I can. It's not always easy to keep my 'mouth' shut... lol... but challenges with motor coordination and pain in my hands are currently pretty much taking care of that... makes typing difficult. That's also why I am not posting on my own forum for the time being. It frustrates me to no end when I can't keep up with a thread... and there are also several posts on various forums that I am wanting to respond to at length... but they are just going to have to wait.
I've also been doing a bunch of research... thanking the stars that my vision hasn't been effected! I've already gotten some very interesting personal results that confirms what I had theorized about 'PTSD'. I'm now in the process of locating a neurologist who will do a thorough evaluation of my brain and keeping my fingers crossed that one of the two who I have been in contact with will be willing to work with me. With a few remarkable exceptions... I loathe dealing with just about anyone in allopathic medicine! However... I am DETERMINED to get to the bottom of this because I KNOW what the problem is! I need the scans and testing to prove it... which is the ONLY reason I am so stubborn about doing this. It's important for me... but also for a terrific number of people who are suffering needlessly! I already have the means to treat much of this myself... but also want to take advantage of the opportunity so that others will benefit. I'm trying to close up any gaps so that the allopaths can't shoot a bunch of holes through this theory and dismiss it as quack science! It certainly won't make pharma very happy... but it would also save a bloody fortune that is being spent on an incredibly over-drained health care system! And yea... I know it sounds grandiose! The good thing is... I DON'T CARE WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE!!!
I've also spent the last two weeks trying to line up paratransit services to take me to doctors appointments and rehab. I've had a scriipt for physical and occupational therapy since May... and just got a letter from my doctor stating that I am unable to use public transportation at this time. I have trouble walking to the bathroom... let alone to a bus stop! And cab fare is out of the question on a limited disability income! When you call for an application for paratransit services... you leave your name and number and the message says they will get back to you within two days. I have already left 5 messages in the past two weeks... and haven't heard a word back from them! I finally got a call back today after leaving a message with one of the administrators and now have a direct number for a supervisor... who I will be calling first thing tomorrow.
I've discovered that transportation is a HUGE problem... and it keeps people from accessing any number of services. If that weren't enough... then people are penalized by the system for not following through with doctors appointments, therapy, medication, etc. and risk being turned down for disability when it comes up for review... or they are denied access to other services including low-rent housing because they are labeled as non-compliant with treatment. Sadly... the ones who are effected the most are also the ones that are most in need of help. The horror stories I've read... especially by vets on message boards... has left me in a heap of tears many a time! And then there's the utter disgust I feel for the way the US treats those who have served and given up so much for their country. It's no wonder that the suicide rates of vets is >120 per week! This whole thing is the biggest scam... and the whole issue of 'PTSD' and women has barely been addressed even though twice as many women as men are diagnosed!
Plus... there's nothing like being in my position... with disabling health and financial challenges as a result of being the victim of a crime... and reading people's heartless comments about how those receiving social services are such a drain on the system! Or being treated like an insignificant sub-human being by arrogant doctors who think they have all the answers and dismiss me because of my situation. I HATED going on disability... and had to really struggle to get my composure just to file the damn claim because I couldn't stop crying! I see what's happening in the US today... and realize that the disabled or "unfit" were the FIRST to be eliminated by the Nazis! Comforting thought eh? I just get so sick and tired of seeing all the debating by people who's only experience with the welfare system is regurgitated statistics that are meant to re-direct the focus off of those who are TRULY sucking us dry! I can't help but wondering if someday... they or someone they love... just might benefit in some way from what I am desperately trying to accomplish! My guess is they will... and yet still not have the decency or guts or humility just to say 'Thank you'!