...but don't be surprised when you find out you've got it all wrong. You might feel like we're being harsh to you, or nasty or maybe both.
There really isn't any good excuse to do it. It's easy to poke holes in your story (which is nothing more than a collection of assumptions and rumors) and if you're wrong you will not only be fired but also look ridiculous in the process.
You embrace your bad qualities like they're things to be proud of, so ofcourse that makes me wonder if you really are proud of who you are. I think that deep inside, you're very unsure of yourself and so determined to "do the right thing" that you've blinded yourself. You are so hell bent on telling on these people that it makes me wonder if it's a ploy to get negative attention off your back for once.
Maybe you had a shitty childhood. Maybe your parents kept putting you down. Maybe that's why you talk so openly about your faults, because you've heard people say it about you so many times you've begun to believe them and have accepted yourself for "the failure" that you are.
Why not concentrate on becoming a happy person by making other people happy? If making someone else miserable is the only way you can feel good about yourself, you've gotten in deep and it's time to dig yourself out of that hole.
Explaining away like you do means your mind can't handle facing the truth. You might not be doing that on purpose, it could be a defense meganism rooted so deeply you use it on every situation.
You've got a long way ahead of you, but if you realize what's really the underlying reason for your behavior, you're already one step out of the darkness.