I really feel for you, and I sort of know how you feel because when I can't sleep at night, the next day I'm next to useless and also cannot think straight. It's scary. I have been to menopause sites where women going thru this had to quit their jobs due to inability to function because of no sleep.
Anyway, have you tried accupuncture or a hypnotist? I think that's a better first step than drugs, although I did get some relief from a combination of 2 Valerian tabs 2 hours before bedtime, along with an antihistamine.