I was born to a poor family in May of 1953 in New Mexico. I was born at a Air Force hospital as both my parents were in the service. My grandmother lived in New Mexico so my mom went there to have me. My parents got married when my mom was pregnant and stayed together till I was grown. This haunts me to this day.
I was never loved like my other sisters as I was the reason they were together, I guess. I was the Cinderella story. I cleaned the house, cooked the meals and tended to my sisters. They got everything new and I never got anything. I became a loner and spent hours in my room alone.
When I was 9, my mom and dad sent me to church camp. My counselor could see I was different and she took me under her wings, her name was Janie Arrowwood. Even at a early age I had the abilty of 6th sense, the knowledge of the unknown. We all had to draw papers to see who would star in the play and what character they would play. Janie handed the bowl to me first and I started to draw at one piece but she gave me a look and I withdrew my hand and drew another paper and I was the lead in the play. My bed was next to Janie's so I was close to her. I was great and everyone loved me. I accepted Jesus as my saviour at camp and I was happy. I told Janie about be afraid to die, I was only 9 then, and she told me. >>>>>>, I am reading to you know from this tiny red bible and when you die God will read to you from this bible. I was happy and all was great.
I returned back to my home which was in Kentucky, my fathers home. There I became a Sunday School teacher at the age of 9. I went forward in the church and they baptised me with being dunked in the holy water tank. I noticed a closeness to God that was not natural. I could feel my whole room explode with the power of God, I could feel his breath on my face, it was extreme. I told God, if you truly are calling me to be a missionary, give me a sign and indeed he did. I don't tallk about what happened as it is too unbelievable and private. I got so frightened from what happened to me that I ran into the house and denounced my faith and God. I wanted nothing to do with religion anymore. I was only 9 and God was calling me like no one else.
My parents went baserk and called the preacher and everyone know to mankind to get me to change my mind. I was so scared that I hid in my room. Finally after a few month I came out of my room and faced my fears and went back to teaching again.
My very first encounter with an Angel with at my early age. I always felt like there was a ghost in my attic. So I refused to go there. One day the Angel in the attic told me he was not a ghost but my guardian angel. He told me "I am here to protect you and no one can ever hurt you again." A few weeks later there was a fire in the attic and my Angel told me. So I ran to get the hose and sprayed down the attic and saved my family home. My Angel left but never forgot those words. He was right, anyone who ever hurts me, Allah punishes them.
I had many horrible experiences and they only got worse.
I married at the age of 19 to a horrible man and he beat me constantly and was unfaithful. My mom convinced me I had to stay with him for the child and family sake. I stayed for 12 years. By then I was tortured so bad mentally and physically that I was no longer the same person and again swayed away from God. I so wanted to have this closeness to God but I would never be granted that beauty for another 20 years.
I went thru so many tortures in my life and I believe it happened just because I said no to God. He said, if you don't want my way let you make your own choice. I did find my way back though.
In California I was a successful Real Estate person and had a partner who went to Egypt and met a man there who gave her a Quran, she in turns comes back to America and gives it to me. I read it for three days and became a Muslim. I had never in my life ever heard of Islam or Muslims. I went to school for 6 months and there the sisters brought a man to meet me and we were married one week later. I opened my own real estate firm and became a broker. I became rich, owned a mercedes, home, gold and diamonds and made around 100K. My life was fabulous
My husband had been in America for 17 years and missed his family in Jordan. So his father turned very sick and he made the choice to return to Jordan to be with his father on his last days. Of course being his wife, I came with him. I made the choice to give up my business and family to be with my husband. Which most everyone in my shoes would of done.
My husband is buried here and I wanted to take care of him. I had little or no money and no family in America. I had asked my mom if I could live with her and she said no. So where was I to go. No family, no money and no friends. There was little to do but to stick it out here. The ticket alone to america is one thousand dollars, my husband left me penniless.
After I was here the people helped me get on welfare and the people started donating to my support. within 8 months I had my welfare check and a home to live in. I felt making hijr (moving to an Islamic country for the sake of Allah) was better than to be homeless in America. Times were extremely hard and tough but I made it.
I have had epstein barr all my life and I will give you the link to my story here:
This tells the story of my epstein barr, MS and eventual dementia. It also tells of my recovery and where I am today.
I only got well by prayer and extreme study. I got well because Allah so destined me too. I wanted you to know something about my life so you can understand Sara a little better. Some days I am sad, some days I am happy and some days I am tough. I have had a real hard life so I tend to be tough and not let people get too close. Now you can understand me a little better.
Why did Allah save my life so many times, you got me, but I am sure glad he did.
I love you guys, hope you will look at Muslims different now and understand we love you too.
PS: yes there are many blanks as it needs to be that way, you know the internet and secrets.