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Re: Still a virgin, never had a boyfriend
 
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Published: 12 years ago
 
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Re: Still a virgin, never had a boyfriend


At 19 nearly 20, I panicked that I was too old. A guy asked me for directions one day and we ended going out for drinks. I decided since I didn't know him that would be perfect and decided that would be the night.

It was horrible. It really hurt and he just kept going. I was with someone I didn't know and I was nearly in tears the whole time. It didn't affect me at the time but years later I think about it with great regret and think about how I wish it could've been a special time. I had had 2 relationships with boys who really felt something for me but had not gone that far with them yet chose to do it with a complete stranger? Obviously I wasn't ready if I wasn't having sex with someone I was in a relationship with.

I have been with my current partner for 5 years and he is the most loving and kind partner I could wish for. he is incredibly understanding re sex as sometimes I start crying half way through. I believe some of those emotions are due to the fact that I did something when I wasn't ready for it. I am lucky to be with someone so caring and kind now, and sometimes I wish that it could've been him whom I'd first experienced it with. At the time I thought sex was sex and it didn't matter and to some extent it may not, but for me that was an experience I regret. I have had subsequent 'meaningless' sex a few times after which haven't bothered me since, but that first one definitely does! good luck, relax and when the time is right, it'll happen!
 

 
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