I don't have an answer for your 4 pound gain, but I have felt all of what you have said "I feel scared... I feel disappointed... I feel panic... I feel massive depression... I feel like a failure.. I feel like I am again, losing this battle".....oh I have and still do sometimes! But the one thing that does help is to step back and take it one day at a time. Right now you are in the middle of your panic and Depression and projecting the next 30 days of what might happen and it is going to drive you further off on the ledge. Do this for me, stop projecting and wait for Uny or Wings to respond, which I am sure they will do today. Then make some decisions once they respond. I know that is easier said than done, because when I am faced with a new challenge on my healing journey, I want an answer NOW, but we just need to be patient.