I know exactly how you feel. You want to trust us, and especially the program that the greatest natural healers ever used on tens of thousands of people to heal themselves of every disease and issue known to man, but when it's YOU and YOUR body, trusting can be quite a challenge, and it takes GUTS to make changes like this. YOU'RE A GUTSY LADY.
How much IF2 daily? How are you taking it?
Dittoes on IF1?
How profound are the bms?
How close are you to your period?- I gain 5 pounds before mine but always lose it the week of... even on the IP.
Elf Hardtoil lost 20 pounds in a few months when he stopped eating meat entirely. I "invite" you to do the same. I tell ya, I thought the raw foodies were nutso, but omg I can't tell you how much better I feel as a vegan. Do I miss meat? Shoot, yeah. But ANY time I have indulged since starting this healing journey and in particular in between IP rounds, I have felt CRUMMY for about 3 days after I enjoyed those fajitas or that to-die-for (really) chicken fried steak. It's not worth the work I have to re-do in order to get back to where I was, which was feeling really fantastic and full of energy. And when I get to that place, the fantastic place, that's when I feel like working out and having fun and I don't have any trouble burning calories.
Ya know, this whole weight thing tees me off. We aren't defined by the number on the scale. We ladies just bash ourselves every morning when we get on that thing. If I work hard and in the morning I'm not rewarded with a pound lost, I feel like a failure. I really do. And if my kids popped popcorn and I walk by and eat ONE piece just for a taste, and then the next morning I've gained a pound, UGH! So not fair! But it wasn't the popcorn. It was something else my body was doing.
But we think we have to look like Victoria Beckham or JLo every day to be attractive, and make that kind of money in order to be successful, and that's just a lie. It's a big Disney lie. There aren't too many real ladies that look like Victoria Beckham, and if you've noticed, there aren't too many men who look like David Beckham, either (darn!).
Being healthy brings its own kind of attraction and beauty. You smile more. You feel better, and that makes you want to get out there and try new things and maybe meet new people. You start having more mental clarity, and all these creative ideas start popping into your head. Spiritually, you feel so much more connected (lol I sound Californian).
Honey, I'm not at my goal weight. I've lost 15 unwanted pounds and I'm glad about that, but I don't know if I'll EVER be back at the weight I was in college. But women at any age and in any body can look beautiful and classy, and that means you, too.
Uny tells me I focus on body image too much, and she's right. It's your inner beauty, your inner light, that attract people to you, and they don't really see the package you are wrapped in that much. I think people aren't going to like me because I walk funny and have a difficult time with stairs. But that's not the truth at all, and what I'm learning now is that the more I like and respect myself, the more others, do, too.
One of my little affirmations has been "I am getting healthier every day." This is becoming really exciting for me now as well as fun. But it was really hard in the beginning, and on a lot of days I still have to psych myself up to do the right things. But you have to take one day at a time, and give your body a chance to figure out the new game plan.
Oh, gosh, have my emotions been a mess. Now they are starting to balance out a little, and that feels great. When you do a massive detox, your emotions are going to roller coaster, too, and you have to love yourself through it. It's OK to be there. But, yeah, don't project that you're going to gain 30 pounds in a month. I don't think you will.
I hope this encourages you over this little speed bump. It's not a skyscraper ledge you are on. :)