Reliving Everything

Its not fair how people can have such a power over you


Since this has happened, I have tried to get back into a social setting to make myself fell more normal. One of the things I do is security for a venue called Modern Cultures (not a job, Just a past time) … late that night one of my close friends has to go to the hospital. He was dehydrated and fell to the ground.. we take him to the hospital and everything seems to be fine.. so me and the rest of the people I was working with went to Wal-Mart to get some stuff.. (long night, we were hungry). That’s when I seen her. The same girl from that night.. I don’t know what happened to me.. I Have so many feelings of hate for this women. And I do know how to defend myself and others. But when I seen her. I felt like all my courage crumbled into itself. I asked everyone if we could leave. (some of them do not know what happened) some said yes while others wanted to shop. I went outside with the club owner, Victoria. And I balled my eyes out… here I am, a guy working security, and this women takes away all my strength and replaces it with fear.. I have been to Iraq and I never felt in my time over there as much fear as I did last night….it makes no sense. While it was horribly wrong what she did to me, I cannot remember the actual act, … why am I petrified of this women… why cant I sand up to her, instead of felling like I cant breath and losing felling in my legs… GOD I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!!