You may feel a loss of power when with her because she did take your power from you-it would be strange to have experienced what you did and not have this visceral response to your attacker. Remember thats what she is not a "girl" remember sometimes the bravest things we do are facing the ones that have hurt us emotionally- you have made great strides in a short time in doing this. It takes a lot of courage to take the path you have chosen after being raped. Just be kind to yourself. good thoughts to you-iFlush