I know exactly how you feel! I haven;t found many people who are experiencing this "phenomena" (Leaky gas). I call it that since no one has been able to tell me what is causing this. I am not quite sure how when this started for me and I/ve been racking my brain trying to figure out since when this started but I am a long time sufferer of constipation.
For me the symptoms arise much like it does for you. It happens when I am nervous or tensed. It doesn't happen around my husband or close family or whereever I am totally comfortable. I have realized that there is a component of social anxiety disorder in there somewhere but I refuse to believe that that this disorder cannot be controlled or somehow managed w/o feeling like a freak of nature for the rest of my life. Also, I am not sure if you experience this as well but, the LG happens more when I am sitting as opposed to when I am standing or walking around. I am much more confident when I go somewhere to meet people where I have to stand or move around as opposed to sitting. If there is a party or a get together, I usually stand or move around rather than sit.
My husband recently mentioned strengthening my core muscles. I also started to do anal exercises. It's only been a few days, so I cannot really give you any status on that but supposedly, I will only see results after several weeks. I do have a GI appt on Monday. Don;t know what to tell her cause she will probably just say... "oh this is part of IBS". When I go to IBS forums, I am told there that this is not considered IBS. So I am somewhat lost as to where this disorder fits in.
Lastly, the feeling of despair and hopelessness is common. I know what you are going through. But you shouldn't let it get to you. (easier said than done). My whole life has changed as a result of this disorder. I have lost lots of friends over this and now avoid social gatherings which were once a huge part of my life. BUT it is so important to find even one person in your life that can understand this. It makes a world of difference.