Thanks a lot for any support. You cant even imagine how important that is for me. Sometimes I feel as if I just want to end everything, that my spirit is gone. That I only exist meaninglessly due to the problems I have now. Very often I am just obsessed with thoughts about suicide and can't do anything about that. Everything what I am trying to do to treat those problems only lead to worse symptoms... For example the memory loss and lack of awareness of the environment. Those increasing symptoms match Alzheimer's disease and sadly it's probably not about the toxins, cause I'm cleaning my colon with P & B shakes and eating as healthy as possible. I even went on juice fasting for three days. Unfortunately i just cannot think as I was used to think before. And it's not the symptom of depressive mood, it's the REASON for it. I cannot manage my time as before, I cannot organize my work and plans, and future events. Everything seems so unreal, it just comes and goes. No LASTING memories or emotions. I am not shy anymore because it just gets out of my mind as soon as the embarrassing situation is over. So I'm moving further to the very bottom. I've never thought before that I might become so indifferent about life and death.