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The BIG secret of oil pulling.....shhhhhh
 

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Molly Bloom Views: 12,120
Published: 11 years ago
Status:       ~RN [Message recommended by a moderator!]
 

The BIG secret of oil pulling.....shhhhhh


Okay, this is what it's all about.

Take a spoon. Poor some oil into it. Get it into your mouth before you spill it on your shirt.

Swish it around your mouth. Do not listen to, watch or read anything that is funny. You will spew it on yourself and anyone in a close proximity.

Try to tell your spouse something really important with your mouth full of oil. Make sign language, and sounds from your mouth that resemble words. Then when you get really good, you can open your mouth (without spilling the oil) and talk like Scooby Doo. Just remember the whole time they will be mocking you, so go back to the previous paragraph and follow instructions.

Spit it out. Usually with a glob of mucus. It's gross, so resist doing this with anyone that can hear. Sometimes you will gag. It's not pretty, so if you are in a new relationship, you will need to distract the person so they cannot see this. Gag a few times, rinse with Sea Salt water, and sometimes you will be gagging for about 2 minutes. If you are gagging longer than that, then you stupidly swallowed too much of the oil, or you stupidly drank some of the salt water.

Helpful hint. Do not fall asleep while oil pulling. I have done this. Your mouth naturally opens. When this happens a long trail of oil will seep out of the corner and cover your clothing. Plus you will look like an idiot. It is best to stay awake during this process. If you have a habit of falling asleep during oil pulling I would suggest wearing a lobster bib, or one of your kids drool bibs.

Remember, the Ayurvedics suggest you oil pull on the toilet. We are not sure why, but we feel that this is either a meditative thing, or that they just had to take a dump while pulling every time. If you feel like this when you oil pull, then it is best not to sit in any furniture that you value.

Also the Ayurvedics believe you should go outside and bury your sputum in the mud. If you live in a place that you feel you can dig many holes for all your evacuations, then this might be good for you. However, despite what many have said...no, a small amount of oil, spit into your drain, will not back up the entire water system in your house. No matter what anyone has said.....it would take some really bad plumbing for this to be so. If this happens, I would suggest a plumber to check your entire system, in which they will hand you a bill to redo all your pipes in expensive copper, perhaps because you told them that your plumbing was backing up due to putting a teaspoon of oil down your pipes on a daily basis.

If you oil pull and your head begins to rotate on it's axis, this is not due to Oil Pulling. This is because you took some really heavy drugs and you are now peaking.

If your teeth begin to fall out, they were already falling out before oil pulling....

If your dentist mocks you because your gums look good, the basic suggestion on this forum is to give him a "wry" smile and ask if they have finished paying off their school loans yet. That will usually really piss them off, so be prepared to leave immediately, but you need to do so with dignity, because they think you are practicing voodoo.

If you oil pull and you see absolutely nothing, and you're sure we are full of crap, think again....we are not. And later when your teeth are falling out you will wistfully think of us and decide we were brilliant after all.

And that is Molly's high points of Oil Pulling.

Oh yes, if you are OPing with whale blubber, you better post your experience on the forum and give us links to buy it.






 

 
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