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Re: Antimicrobial Effects of Spices and Herbs - Katie and Sky
 
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Published: 12 years ago
 
This is a reply to # 1,640,732

Re: Antimicrobial Effects of Spices and Herbs - Katie and Sky


Hey...
Thank you for your very comprehensive reply. Sorry I didn't see it at first.

I feel very scared and vulnerable talking about the balance thing because this symptom appeared for me 1-2 years AFTER I achieved relief from a problem dating from childhood, that of my compulsive overeating.

When I ate, particularly "triggering" foods, i.e., anything sugary, starchy, or fatty, I just could not stop at the point where I wanted to stop. My emotions contributed to this -- I have had an extremely intense generalized anxiety disorder all my life, and equally intense (chronic) Major Depressive Disorder. But I attribute these emotional problems entirely to physical causes (this is my philosophy about them) since they are always entirely relieved by fasting, which I really believe in and pursue, to the best of my ability, as a healing modality. My main goal in life is to develop my ability to fast, for my health and healing -- I recognize that this is not the forum for fasting but anyway.

... I feel that from my overeating habit I developed my dysbioses... which have given me all the normal symptoms of these: GI issues/gas bloating/diarrhea/constipation/BRAIN FOG/liver issues/anxiety/depression.

Now, it is hard to talk about stopping the overeating, because whenever i tried to cry out my pain about this overeating, I was screamed at, told that my objections to being unable to stop when I wanted were unreasonable. I was told that I had to be forced to tolerate the overeating. i was dismissed as being hypersensitive and even as being a "Danger to myself." -- i.e., craxily intent on starving myself to death. This hurt worse than anything -- to be infantilized, to be told that what I wanted for my health and for my life and for my body was Not Acceptable/Not Valid. I could by force of will generally control the overeating to a great extent, so it also looked as though I didn't really have a problem.

The way I got control of the overeating was by going into support groups about it (Overeaters Anonymous, Food Addicts Anonymous). I was able to find peace and healing of some kind by staying on a food plan daily, just making a commitment to that.

About the lack of balance: When I got on the food plan, my life blossomed and relaxed, and I got all manner of good effects -- relationships, spiritual development, digestive & other physical improvement, the slight weight loss I had been unsuccessfully seeking for years, achieving which made me so happy and comfortable in my body; the lessening of my anxiety and Depression .... Some "side symptoms" or "side effects" developed. i had previously relied on the overeating to suppress my emotions -- any emotions, not just the conditions of anxiety and depression. Now, i found that on the food plan, I had SOME outlets with my support groups but had to develop new emotional outlets, too -- this took time -- I got these side effects in the meantime. One side effect, which was temporary, was that i started to walk differently. i know, sounds strange. For so long as I had trouble expressing myself verbally/asserting myself to others, I would in a funny way walk too fast or "too hard," and my feet would be a little injured. My emotions had to go somewhere, and they went temporarily into this sort of violent way of carrying myself. This went away. i did learn to assert myself a bit. After a while, though, I developed a couple of things. One: some glands or nodes or something (salivary? lymph?) right under my jaw, at the intersection of the neck and jawline, got and stayed permanently swollen. I intuitively associated this with the intensity my eating took on after I committed to limiting my eating according to my plan, for the peace this committed limitation gave me. Because I still needed to develop emotional outlets to replace the overeating, I ate "intensely," and I felt like this was causing the swollen nodes/glands/whatever. Nowadays, I have had a ton of therapy but still am learning to de-intensify my eating, and my glands/whatever they are are still in their chronic swollen state. It's just a chronic condition I have not been able to solve. I am starting to address it through fasting/spiritual work - but anyway. One notable thing is that after a fast, if I break the fast with (sweet) fruit, these glands might be de-swollen a little from the fast, but the sweet fruit somehow makes them balloon up even bigger than they normally are, or really it makes my neck, around the glands, swell up. it goes down after a little while.
Anyway, two: sorry to submerge this in all the other material: my lack of balance. i am very sorry for your symptoms -- they are NOT fun, as you say. mine are a lot less intense. i just -- tip over. When I try to change direction quickly in moving, I lose my balance. When I stand up from sitting I lose my balance. I stagger a little. It is bothersome/debilitating, not a minor thing, but it does not happen, thank God, when i am just siting down. If I stand up and close my eyes, i start to fall over. When I have tried to take dance classes (so emotionally painful in my anxiety condition/physical condition with the candida etc., I am very sad about it) -- and we have had to practice turns, that is just.. out of the question. One 360 degree turn makes my vision "spin." I have no balance for the turns. After executing a number of turns "blind," I have to grip something for balance while my vision stops whirling. Visually I am, while standing still, [after doing turns] getting repeated loops of the room spinning.

The reason I feel horribly vulnerable and scared revealing this is that these "side effects" of achieving this control over my food intake (and my out-of-control food cravings I now do attribute to,I think, somehow, various microbial overgrowth in my body... the yeast and the bacteria [c. diffficile in my case, among others] somehow causing cravings) -- these side effects were, indeed , things that appeared AFTER i got the ability to just spiritually decide to adhere to my food plan. And so you could, if you were inclined to scream at me for wanting control over my food, attribute the side effects TO the food plan and TO my "stubborn" need to have this dignity of some empowerment/relief from food addiction, some ability to decide when I wanted to stop eating. ... so I was in a bind... I never dared complain about the lack of balance etc. I just had a lot of pain around the overeating, and that pain was very harshly invalidated... so... sorry to go on about it all, but maybe it provides context... I would also appreciate it if you could just kind of not comment on the overeating/your take on it just because I still am really sensitive and vulnerable and really tend to take to heart what I read on line from people... i so need validation that I hesitate to post all this at all but maybe I am helping someone by putting it out in the open... thanks again for responding! I hope anything of what I have said gives you some ideas.
One side -note. I find that if i deliberately let myself fall over, to some extent, the symptom of lack of balance is slightly alleviated.
Oh, and by the way, the lack of balance issue has been known , with me, to be resolved by a fast, which makes me feel the problem is microbe-related. A fast will sort of sanitize the system -- by removing the food sources of the microbes to some extent, and killing them off. Any fast of more than 3 days or so clears my balance up to some extent or other -- one time i got a thrilling, total remission of this lack of balance symptom -- I felt a kind of "click" on the 3rd day of a fast once and SUDDENLY had perfect balance - but i struggle so much to fast (am still so emotionally addicted to eating) that I rarely achieve any remission like this. Also, I still struggle to REALLY change my eating habits, so soon after a fast is done, I get the lack of balance symptoms back again, if indeed the fast has made them go away at all. It was really only the one time that the stars aligned with my fasting so that I got the remission of the symptom. As I say, I so struggle to fast long enough for any healing to take place. it is a learning process to learn to fast for a length of time that can be really therapeutic. But I am committed to learning this skill of fasting... hard for a food addict... and I KNOW intuitively that when i do succeed in really fasting for at least several days/a week/whatever, I will get well in many many ways, probably first in the recovery of my balance... also i will need to develop the ability to really change my post-fast eating habits, to preserve the benefits of the fast. I am actually in a process of doing that right now. i am reading oldtime fasting doctors/authors and natural hygienists and committing to doing what I need to do (it kind of amounts to surrendering bravely to the directives of one's own body with regard to fasting and post-fast behavior-- and this really does take courage! It's the total giving-up of food addiction) i realize all this is for another forum... - still, this is my path -- fasting for healing; I always like to say that in case others reading are interested also ... always looking for fasting buddies! This candida forum helps me a LOT with understanding the mechanics of what I go through, and i appreciate it, and I see you contribute a lot to it, so thanks. Hope you are having a decent time lately. Let me know how it's going.
 

 
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