First, Very thanks (both of you) for the reactions I really appreciate that!
I had the living dead experience (before that It was al severe too, but I didnt realize it was that). I was extreme light sensitive, couldn't walk through the door outside, couldn't deal with any 'surrounding' of people and elements. Extreme brain fog. Everything. Almost DEAD. 10 meter walk and I could collapse.
I locked myself up [for some serious rehabilitation and studying health].
That time I was looking (through the window) at the sky, to the trees, to people, to rain that fell out of the sky etc.. and thought about the past when those things where SO NORMAL that I didn't realize all of this existed, because my mind was fulltime busy with daily life, school, social shite etc.
Then I watched some TV (I dislike TV [mindcontrol shite], but this situation was killing and sometimes I needed some distraction), saw some documentaries of deep see life, people backpacking in nature, sailing adventures, wildlife etc.
The only thing I dreamed of from then was so extremely simple: just BE and ENJOY those simple things and surroundings. ENJOY a 10 minutes of total emptyness and total peace of mind & body, take a walk in the park/woods. Just sit there and enjoy BEING.. JUST BEING. Social things would come in the second place, you just can handle everything on you're own and you have the peace of mind and clearity to do whatever you want and to handle every situation.
The first day that this extreme foggy and deadly creepy condition disappeared I also had tears rolling down, it was the start of a (long) healing path. It was the cork that popped the champaign haha.
As you said, youre life wil be different. THE EXPERIENCE OF LIFE will be TOTALLY reversed, and maybe a little SURREAL if you reach the > 85/90% treshold of your inner homeostatis. Especially if you have experienced the kind of ALTERED STATES of awareness during the worst periods of AF.
You will translate every bit of information in another way because you'r body can handle it.
This whole thing is like a ticket where you have to pay for to get you'r life back (or live a normal life for the first time in YEARS -- that one counts for me haha).
I'm healing and I hope you do. This is the most important time of my life I'm fully sure of!
If I trusted the western medicine (pharma maffia) I should be lost in total darkness.
Everything in you'r life is in the frist place you'r responsibility. Others CAN help you, or point you in the right direction -- or the wrong --,but you have to do it at you'r own. WILLPOWER.
And if a doctor could heal you in an instance, --hocus pocus--, you shouldn't learn anything of the most important things of you'r life and continuing living like a system-slave.
That are my thoughts at the moment,
My heart and mind ar calm now, I go take this advantage for a good night of sleep.