Anatomydoll - I accept your apology. Maybe I over-reacted in anger, but your words did feel like an outright attack and I don't even know you. Yes, I guess I do "live it up" to some degree, according to your definition. I am not totally bedbound, although I do have to plan very strategically when I do get out because it is totally exhausting and then I'm sometimes in bed for the next few days.
My doc put me on cortisol replacement last June and that has helped a lot. I tried coming off of it and could not get out of bed, so I guess I might would be in your situation if not for the cortisol, but I don't know. But the point is that even if I am out "living it up," so what? Do I not have a right to ask a question on a forum just because I'm still trying to get along in my life? I am no longer "normal" like I used to be -- I know that. A few weeks ago, my little 7 yr old daughter asked me if I would go for a walk with her and I actually felt like going. She was totally thrilled because I haven't been able to do that in .... I don't even remember when. My kids have suffered a lot because of my health issues. They don't get to go and do a lot of stuff because I can't take them. Thankfully, they are good kids and they don't demand a lot of me. They are just happy when I can get enough energy to "live it up" for a couple of hours and take them to the library. I think that I would be more down and out if I didn't have to push myself for my kids.
I am sorry for your health situation and your marriage situation. I know it's bad enough being down and out sick, and then to have your spouse leave is devastating. I do not understand it. My husband moved to another state, so he is not here. We are managing, but sometimes it's tough.
Thanks for the apology and for hearing me out. I pray that you will be getting better and that your last shot with your wife will work out. :-)