I really wanted to make this post more gentle and tactful because I care about how this might make you feel but I just have the need to say this and without knowing how else to say it here it goes, "Your boyfriend sounds emotionally and psychologically abusive."
Respect and trust toward you are your right to have in a relationship. He may have other thoughts about that but that is really his problem. I am sure that he has had a history of difficulties. Most of us have. But that is no reason to treat you the way he is. If you do not like something that he is doing or not doing, you have the right to honor yourself and let him know. It has nothing to do with you why he is the way he is. And it sounds like you enjoyed some things about the relationship. And that's okay. But it sounds like you may have the other side of him to handle too.
Try not to let him blame you, make you feel insecure or turn on yourself. You are worthful and You are your own best friend and your need for respect must come before his needs for comfort and support.
Out of concern for you, I ask you to please be careful with this guy. At least for your emotional and spiritual health and just your overall wellbeing.