As you note it is probable that your diet and lifestyle has put you where you are with high BP etc.
Your family history and current health description are common to this condition and were not dissimilar to mine. Like you I tried an large number of those "quick hit" like approaches without much success.
The only thing that has really beaten it for me was fasting with water only and significant diet modification. Firstly I would recommend a good read about the Water Fasting forum. Over the years there have been a number of posts about BP and its response to fasting. There is a peer reviewed trail from "True Health North" which details the responses of over 150 people to this technique. And if you wish to read further, I think I have remembered this correctly: A Dr Goldstein has documented his fast history and BP is recorded all the way through.
On the diet influences quickly: No milk, no sugar, no grain carbs, greatly reduced carbs from fruit, (I ate a lot of fruit), increased veg component much of it fresh and raw: lots of root crops. Make sure micro-nutrient Vit C Vit D CQ10 etc and mineral levels are excellent, Mg Ca Na K etc. Lots of healthy fats and some protein (not as much as the fats). The diet is "unfashionable": resolve is required. Then envy of friends when they see the benefits is the reward for declining the cheese cake.
High intensity exercise (HIIT), adequate water intake, make sure Iodine and its related supports are under control.
I'm not sure what you BP measuring procedures are? Being systematic about that is important.
Be patient this took me five years to get on top of. T2