I was feeling better this morning and then I tried to sleep. It started with really bad jumpiness in the chest and then some palpitations. I tried to just lay and listen to the tv, buy it just continued to build. Adrenaline waves flying through me heating my whole body, lightheadedness, the whole thing. This is worse than sunday, I could get control of that one. Thus one is a monster. I just took 1mg of ativan five minutes ago and sit here writing this waiting for it to work. I know benzos are not good, but I would not ask any of you to go through this shit when you've got something that can help drastically.
This is a nightmare, I've got to get up early to go to a meeting at 9pm EST. And the pressure to sleep is making it worse. Maybe I had to much salt? I dont know, I'm going through everything in my mind trying to figure it out. The only thing I did different is I started a magnesium , calcium, and zinc tablet today. I can't see that causing this. I had absolutely no anxiety and felt good when I got home from work. My temp is only 96.7 right now. Wth.
I know there really isn't anything anyone can say, you or even doctors, I feel utterly alone and wish I didn't care if I died, but of course I do. I'm rambling and I'm sorry, I'm just effed up right now, with no where to really turn, people just don't understand.