Yes,.....I can understand your feelings! I am an old woman now,....well, 52, but my kids are grown and gone. I think about you younger ones,...with kids,.....and my heart just sinks!
One must have some sort of spiritual program in order to surmount THIS! I mean, God either is,....or He isn't. So,...if 'we' have this terrible disease,....(and our babies too),.....He knows all about it. It is BIGGER than we are. We need Him! We did nothing wrong,....and He tells us to be of good cheer. So,....He's gonna work it all out. Our job is to LOVE one another through this. Your boy has YOU!
I do not go outside either,...almost a total shut-in.