Don't get the MEDITATION. Just do the exercise. Sit in a chair and hang your hand by your side. Close your eyes. Imagine looking through your forehead, not physically, just get your mind's eye into focus. Concentrate on your hand, either one. Feel the blood flowing through it, that's reality, the "now" moment we really live in.
What pops into your head, onto the screen of your mind's eye? That's your hidden programming. Observe these hidden distractions, anxieties and resentments to death. That's it. Can you pay attention? Can you concentrate? What's distracting you from inside your own head? That's all the MEDITATION exercise does. And it's free.
Now either offer some help here or can the paranoia. It's a neutral, universal technique that works. If it didn't, prisoners, who receive it free from FHU, wouldn't be clamoring for copies.