Please help, what is wrong with me? (Long story...)
I don't know where to start. I'm a 23-year-old woman, and for years i've had various symptoms and problems mostly linked to intestines and bowels.
These are the most disturbing symptoms:
-Pain, itching, tingling and all sorts of weird and uncomfortable sensations in the rectum and anus.
-Mucus in the stool or often just mucus coming out. It seems to cause most of the itching, burning and tingling. Consistency and colour vary a lot. It's colourless, white, yellow or brown, and from watery to a thick jelly. I'm sorry for the details, it's gross, i know.
-Various abdominal pains, often lasting a day or two.
-Hemorrhoids and wounds in the rectal area.
-Bloated stomach nearly always.
-Feeling tired and dizzy constantly.
-Numbness in the limbs.
Actually i could go on with the list for ages, so i'll just start with the story.
First of all, i fear worms and parasites
to death. I've had pinworms a couple of times in the last few years and that has led me to be completely crazy about hygiene, and i guess i've developed OCD. I don't know where i got the infections from, and it wasn't really that bad, only saw a couple of worms. However i was still freaking out after taking all the drugs and herbs, so i went to the doctor and got him convinced to send me for a stool sample. The results came back negative for any worm eggs, but there was blastocystis hominis. At that time i knew nothing about it, and was reassured as the doctor said nothing needed to be done, unless i had a severe diarrhoea. Then i would have gotten Antibiotics
This was almost three years ago. Since then the symptoms have been going on and off, and i've read a lot of stuff about amoebas and other parasites. I live in northern Europe, and the subject is nearly a taboo. Doctors won't believe in such things.
In my case they especially won't believe. They say it's all in my head, because due to childhood sexual abuse i have PTSD and a lot of psychosomatic symptoms. This also prevents me from going to the doctor. I can't let them touch me down there, it's just simply impossible. Unless under sedatives or anesthesia, but they usually refuse to do that. Also, i couldn't afford the examinations, i live on pension because of the PTSD, and have a very low income. It's a vicious cycle.
If i did go to the doctor, i know they'd send me to a rectoscopy to rule out cancer, then diagnose irritable bowel syndrome, and that would be it. Read and heard the story so many times from people with similar symptoms.
I've read that intestinal parasites
often cause loss of weight. I've been underweight all my life, no matter how much i eat. I've tried to control the symptoms by following a diet (no white Sugar
or flour, etc.) but that causes me to lose even more weight. I'm 160cm (5'3.0") and six months ago my weight was 38,5kg (85lbs). I actually felt a lot better in some ways, a lot more energetic, but then it started to take it's toll both mentally and physically. I got too weak to exercise and was always feeling cold, and constantly got anorexia-related comments from people. I felt like i had to gain weight any way possible, and the only way proved to be eating loads of baked goods and other not-so-healthy stuff. Now i'm 43kg (95lbs).
All of this affects my life way too much. Being neurotic about hygiene has gone way over the sensible limit. I don't even dare to count how many hours i spend cleaning, washing my hands and showering every day. I check my genitals with a mirror every time i go to the bathroom (at least 5-10 times a day) cause i'm so afraid there's pinworms, or something that should'nt be there. But i never find anything. I also check my stool, but also nothing there (just the mucus). I just can't stop doing these things, not even for one time, cause i'm sure then i would miss something.
Yeah, i'm desperate. And obviously going crazy. But the symptoms are real, and i don't know what to do. Is this even caused by parasites? What can i do, without going to the doctor, cause they really won't believe me? And mostly, does anyone else suffer from these same things?