Hi! First, I am so sorry you are struggling. Just know that help is out there for you! YOU ARE A SURVIVOR! You lived, and that's what matters right now. Next is to get the help and support you deserve. You can look into hotlines if you want to talk directly to certified rape counselors (I am becoming one as we speak). Or you can use online forums/blogs to anonymously discuss issues you are dealing with. You can check out my blog I run as a support system for survivors! http://www.scrapesurvivor.weebly.com.
This is a completely free space to post your opinions on issues my articles are about, reach out for help, there are private and public forums, also I have listed numerous nation wide organizations that provide help for free.