If you could get a grip and stop being so emotionally dangerous you might be able to develop some relationships that are more fulfilling. I only say this because I have the same problem, only mine is not as bad because I have worked to develop some empathy skills. It takes a passive aggressive f*** to know one. Read "Speak Peace in a World of Conflict" and "The Surprising Purpose of Anger." They've helped me a lot. They will help you refrain from picking on people and express your frustrations lovingly so you can be heard instead of hated. Sometimes the frustration might still get so intense that you want to be hated, but at least you will have a choice instead of being driven by unwanted hatred. There is an old saying "What got into you?" Sometimes people probably shake their heads and say, "I don't know what got into her, but she's got it bad!" about me. I can't say as I blame them if they do. But I do know what it is like to be in the kind of pain that you are in. You can ask V about that. A Course in Miracles might help too, as that is all about ego reduction and it is usually when the ego feels threatened that the demons of threat emerge and start attacking others, if even only unconsciously. I hope this can be received lovingly but doubt if it will. Taking a big breath now and preparing for a sucker punch response.