Sorry to hear things have been so hard for you that you welcome death. Wishing and trying to love everyone after all that you have been through must be very challenging. Please try to focus on Mary Magdalene and not me if that is what you are cumming here all the time to do because I am energetically sensitive to essence rape. In some countries they believe the only way a woman can be safe is to wear a burqua and hide from the world of men. We have to overcome the demon of lust or the aliens are going to land and gobble up the pain. Laughing and crying simultaneously will release them if you can do it for long enough without dying. Just a hunch. Don't take my word for it.