Matt, I can't go back to sleep. I am disturbed by the ominous tone and words in your posts tonight.
I know you have a wife. Do you have children? May I suggest you lay off the medicines for awhile and reassess your health status. Meds can mess you up as much, maybe more, than they can help. That includes OTC stuff.
Take a break. Please. Get control of your mood. I want to read daily posts from you that you are feeling better.