Published: 19 years ago
Re: what's happening?
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my message and reply! This is really great and much appreciated, thank you.
Definitely, if feels like a lot of old trauma is being released at the moment. Unfortunately the later part of my childhood was very traumatic: Mum and Dad divorced when I was ten; Mum remarried; new stepdad was extremely violent and volatile, quite often we had to endure his frightening temper and see him attack Mum (when she was pregnant with our sister he chased her round the house with a hammer – crazy huh) – luckily the guy is now dead – what goes around comes around, he died a horrible slow death from lung cancer; at the same time a young male neighbour tried to ‘get frisky’ with me – I was only young and didn’t know what he was doing – however my stepdad found out and threatened to break the guy's legs in front of the *whole* street – I then had to endure jibes from this guy’s friends every time I left the house; we then moved to Africa (escaped from stepdad) without being able to tell our own Dad; he found out then got custody of my brother and I when we came back to the UK, but only for our own protection; Mum returned to stepdad and was nearly killed by him but escaped just in time; Dad then met his soon-to-be wife (who is lovely - she had a rough deal taking us traumatised kids on!). It took us a long time to settle and feel secure. I went out with all the wrong guys and got my heart trampled on endlessly. I developed crazy obsessive compulsive behaviour and was too afraid to go outside on my own. I let people treat me like *%#&¤?§* and apologised endlessly for nothing and developed a constant guilt complex.
I had a lot of hurt and anger in me that I couldn’t get out – I guess a lot if it internalised and along came the candida!
Things are so much better now though – I got through university with a degree – I now have my own home and a good job and I’m getting my health sorted out. I’ve met a nice guy too, but I’m taking it slowly. I’ve become very spiritual and pray a lot that I’ll be able to help other people deal with this once I’ve recovered myself.
It feels really scary getting all this out of my system but I know I’ll need to before I can fully get rid of it all. The liver really is connected with emotions, I can verify this!
Bee – thank you so much, I have been reading your website with avid interest – I’m very much a ‘body listener’ and quite often go for a few days without any supplements at all, just to let things settle a bit :)
At the weekend, I still felt a bit yuk and sweated profusely after a two-minute jog, like never before! But then afterwards I felt so calm and clear-headed and better than I’d done in years.
Progress is definitely being made!
Thank you all so much – keep well!