The reason people won't respond to your question is because it's so broad. We expect you to read and learn just like we do. From the sounds of the specific questions in your post you are already doing all of the right things. We can't tell you how strict to be on your diet. That is up to you. How bad do you want to want to get better? Specifics are hard because everybody is so different. There are no clean and simple answers. You simply have to find out what works for you.
I would say you're already way ahead of the curve with your overall knowledge. Just keep reading and studying and you'll figure what your body needs.