Thank you so much for sharing that deeply emotional and painful experience. Herpes can definitely put a damper on a newly wed sex life and relationship. It is now almost a reminder of her experience with a bad x-boyfriend. Very difficult challenge indeed.
First, just want to tell you that I doubt you will hear anything supportive about zapping from doctors. It will put them out of business if we get the hang of all this alternative stuff. However, let me say this: drugs are depressing your liver (the avocair and whatever else you are on). You need a strong liver to get rid of the toxins so that your immmune system can be very very strong. then your outbreaks may not reappear. keep zapping. Have you liver flushed? Take some "Liver Rescue 3" after the flush. Keep your immune system high with clean diet (no caffeine, chocolate, soda, icecream, nutrasweeet, etc...) Try to cut down on alcohol. I know it sounds awefully difficult, just think of it as an anti-aging rejuvination therapy.
Also, check out Dr. Hanna Kroeger's virus kit. She has lots of homeopathics for viruses. Her staff will tell you what to do exactly. Search for her online.
I think if you get rid of the break outs it won't remind you or your wife about this anymore. If your communication is oopen and you can be intimate by hugging and cuddling and doing hobbies together (i mean instead of being seperate when you have herpes), it will help. I wish you two the BEST.